What a Difference a Year Makes!

On April 22 Max and I hit our official year mark In Morocco. 12 months, 365 days, holy smackers. We have been away from home for a bit longer than that, but we are certainly still State Department babies.

A lot can happen in a year. Since moving here I have learned to drive A La Marocaine (AKA, video game death defying crazy driving) and come to think of chicken bone littered streets as totally normal. We have set goals for future home ownership (Do people own homes? They do! And so can we!). We became puppy parents (doting ones at that) and learned about the most fabulous moroccan dish that I once heard aptly described as a "chicken donut".   After only a few months in Morocco we received our next two  assignments in the Foreign Service (kind of three) and even though I’m just bursting, I cannot reveal our future homes just yet. Here’s what I’ll say – they are hot (in different ways) and by the sea :)

I started learning Arabic and I’m pretty serious about it. I am learning to watercolor, mostly from books and youtube videos of old women wearing kimonos, but it’s something. We have visited 19 cities in Morocco and 4 countries since moving here.

And over the last year we’ve decided to adopt. When we came to Morocco we were on a “thinking about babies” hiatus. Once you start exploring medical options things get real hairy and real expensive real fast. There are a gaggle of options ranging from the very simple to the totally invasive; the reasonably priced to the “mortgage your home - twice”.  It’s exhausting in every way conceivable (no pun intended) and it can take over your life. We took a break from everything and somewhere along the way things have changed for us in baby land.

We have always been excited about the idea of adoption, but it doesn’t make us less sad about not having biological children. I haven’t blogged much about this because it’s pretty heavy stuff. It’s primarily about loss and disappointment. Not that there isn’t something to be gained from those things – there most certainly is – I just didn’t want to share all the downs... and more downs so publicly. But adoption is about life, about joy and renewed hope. THAT is something I want to share.

Max and I have met with an adoption specialist a few times and my adoption notebook is growing every day. There is a grieving process that happens when you come face to face with your inability to bear a child, but there is joy in feeling that your love won’t be wasted, that there is a someone meant to be part of your family. And I don’t talk about things being “meant” very lightly. Quite frankly, I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe that most things are “meant to be” and that God has a top secret plan for us to uncover.  I never felt strongly that we would overcome our infertility and have a biological child, but for whatever reason I DO feel strongly about the little whoevers that will enter our life in the nearish future. Well, not for a few years because of a certain “hot” post that doesn’t allow children - but I’ve said too much already!

For years I've lived in baby limbo land, keeping clothes that were too big "just in case" and not thinking beyond 9 months into the future because "who knows?".  But that's not living.  That's just waiting around and it's no way to go about your life. Making the choice to pursue adoption instead of countless and unending alternative options was the best, most liberating choice we’ve made in a long time.  To be the boss again, to call the shots and create your future instead of waiting for it to disappoint you.  It’s pretty sweet.

So, all in all, good year.