Beard Update: Where I See My Bearded Future

So, the beard is as thick and complete as it has ever been in my life. Soon after returning from Brazil in late 2004, I began to grow a beard in the hopes that it would be full and commanding, but it was only able to support an Amish-esque growth (all chops, no 'stache) and it started to push out from my face like a fuzzy, reddish frame. I asked Brooke to marry me with that beard on my face and, against better judgment and in testament to her love for me, she still said yes. And later secured from me a promise that it would be gone by the time our wedding rolled around. (Brooke, reading the above paragraph, said to me "I didn't make you promise. You knew." True, indeed)

I had thought my future would hopefully include a beard, though the four year stint at BYU didn't do much to help that dream what with the draconian anti-beard honor code and all. So now that it is in bloom upon my punim, I have begun to wonder what my beard may look like a month from now. Or a year. Or a decade.

And today I got my answer.

I was walking home from Hebrew U along Sderot Churchill today when, to my great surprise, I saw myself walking towards me on the sidewalk. It wasn't me, of course, but an aged version, maybe mid 60s, wearing my exact same outfit. White button up with blue plaid striping, sensible khakis and sandals, glasses and a messenger bag. And the beard, a mostly gray number tailored to look like Toby Ziegler from the West Wing. I started thinking of things I could say to him in Hebrew that would convey my shock and delight at this chance encounter with my future self (exact translations of some of these thoughts: "Hi! We still dress the same!" or "When are you me? 30 years? 40?" or "What's in the bag? My memoir?" (And yes, I know the Hebrew word for memoir - zikhronot)).

But all I did was smile and say "Shalom!" I knew it was indeed my older self when he smiled back and said "Shalom!" Too chipper for a non-Max. He probably sings when gets home, too.

So there you have it: my beard's career has only begun and will yet involve many hilarious and exciting travels. I will keep you posted.

1 comment:

  1. Ha! That's great!

    And ps- Classical 89 is sadly lacking your charming voice. It just isn't the same anymore...